“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
This is a quote made by Jim Rohn, motivational speaker and self help guru. It is true that our attitudes and consciousness are the major factors in order to make us good or bad person. But also our thoughts and attitude are influenced up to large extent by the people around us.
Your social environment can affect you a lot. For example, when you go to funeral ritual where everyone would be crying or being sad. In such environment you yourself will also be sad. But if people in your group start to laugh loudly, then you also start to laugh even without having any clear reason. From these examples you can see how people around you can influence your emotions and moods even by very short time of contact.
Let’s take another example, if your friend with whom you spend your most time with, are addicts to substances like cigarette, alcohol or drugs then you also hold a higher chance of getting addicted. After getting addicted even if you want to be addiction free but without reducing the contact with your such addicted friends, it will be very very hard to be addiction free. Because attitudes, saying and behaviours of your such friends will negatively influence your thoughts of being addiction free. And at last, you finally dump your thoughts of being addiction free from your mind.
In this way, if people in your group with whom you spend your most time are hopeless towards life, lazy, who think life sucks, who just spend time by wandering or doing useless tasks then you will also be like those people. That’s why generally rich people move with other rich people. They don’t want to be influenced by hopelessness and small dream of economically weak people. When they spend time with other rich people then they get motivated to do better progress by thoughts and ideas of their other rich fellow.
So, if you want progress in life and to do better then try to spend your most time with good people who are progressing.
For this follow these simple steps:
- Find out top 5 people with whom you spend your most time with? (It can be your family, friends or teacher.)
- Find out what kind of attitude they hold with life? Do their attitude, hope and behavior match with your ideal self which you want to become?
Now if the answer of 2nd question is no then cut out contact with that kind of friends. You don’t need to completely remove such friends but try to reduce contact with them as much as you can. It is true that leaving the old friend is very hard and not good also. So, if you can, then try to aware your friend about this chapter and convince him/her to move together with you. But, if he/she ignores then leave him/her.
“Because to grab better thing you should free up your hand by leaving good thing.”
Now to find people who meet your ideal self, go through these below mentioned steps:
- List out the ideal friends who are successful in the field which you are interested. If possible keep direct contact with such friends or people. But in the beginning it won’t be so easy to be friend with such people. In the beginning you may be treated little rudely or scolded due to your mistakes. Use such treatment or comment as a guide for learning, improving yourself and doing better. But if you don’t like such treatment or comment, then ignore such friend. There is always better ways to do everything. In this type of condition, books can be your very good friend, so read self help books, biography of other people, newspaper, magazine and guidance book. Remember books can also guide you as much as a good friend can guide you to improve.
- You can also list the great people like Albert Einstein, Barack Obama, Lionel Messi, Charles Darwin, William Shakespeare etc. You may think how can I keep contact with such great people? In this type of condition, you can read books about or by such great people, you can read journal and interviews about their experience, views, beliefs etc. from various sources. Their attitudes, ideas, beliefs and struggle story are shared in such books and medium, you can take maximum benefit from such sources. You can also imagine of being directly contacted with such great people, ask them and share them your thoughts and imagine what can be their reply for your thoughts and questions.
In this way, you can surround yourself with good and great people and do progress in life which can make you better person.