Chapter: 13 Teenage Love

Teenage lovers holding hand

Nature has made man and woman different from the beginning. What man posses biologically (especially sex organs) and psychologically is different than woman and what woman posses is different than man. This is because to make them able to fulfill each other’s needs and lacks.

Woman has a set of sex organs made to get pregnant and to bear baby in womb for 9 months. Whereas man has different set of sex organs made to impregnate a woman. This is a biological fact which you have to understand.

Psychologically, woman posses nurturing and social behaviour whereas man posses aggressive behaviour. Let’s go to little ancient time, at that time whenever wild animals used to attack village, aggressive behaviour of man was perfect to deal with such animals. But to deal with a child, social and nurturing behaviour is perfect rather than aggressive behoviour. These kinds of behaviours are naturally obtained from childhood. For example, a girl child likes to play with doll, teddy bear and toys related to kitchen. Whereas, a boy child likes to play game related to fighting and attacking. Similarly even in adult age women like to engage in household work and caring baby. Whereas man like to work outside where aggressive behaviour is generally required.

A woman wants to feel safe and protected and wants to bear healthy child and wants to secure bright future for them. That’s why in past women used to choose mating or life partner on the basis of social status, physical structure and economic status. Whereas a man needs to be emotionally supported and calmed down. At present, due to influence of media , advancement of human society, balance of rights and advancement of laws and justice this kinds of wants and desires are either decreased or suppressed. But also their influence can be found if we look around ourselves.

From above you can see how man and woman equipped to fulfill each other’s needs and desire. They are also well equipped to solve various problems, when they are together. And love is the only thing that keeps man and woman together for a long time in order to supporting each other. You may say sex is greater but I think love is. Sex is like academic certificate whereas love is like education. Generally education is needed to have certificate. When you have good education then you will automatically get good certificate. In this way, when you have true love then sex will be more better and provide long-term satisfaction. You may say that one can have a fake certificate. Yes, it is true. Like fake certificate one can also have sex without love. But such kind of sex is not satisfactory and provides regrets, later in life.

So, love is a wonderful thing to have if done in a right and proper way. But teenagers are not fully developed to make their love successful. That’s why teenage loves generally don’t last for longtime.

I have some reason to prove this: Like when you were a child you used to enjoy in your imaginary world, you used to enjoy watching cartoons, superstitious and imaginary programmes and movies, you used to play with toys etc. but when you became teenager you lost your interest towards all those things, you started to like movies based on love story, you started to get attracted towards opposite sex, you started to realize your responsibility and limit, you started to get worried about your future, etc. Again, when you become adult you are going to change a lot.

Generally, teenager gives more priority to physical and external attractiveness. They generally don’t care about other things which are which are more important than physical feature. But when one becomes adult he/she starts to think differently and he/she gives priority to other things which are more important. Generally at that time, physical attractiveness and external factor becomes secondary goal. At that time he/she will realize and understand what is truly important and what is not, he/she will realize how stupid he/she was during his/her teenage year and regret over the past wrong decision and bad activity of past.

So, at that time your lover may not like you or you may not like your lover, which you had chosen during your teenage year. In such condition one party will probably end up having broken heart, broken dreams and depression, even after giving few months or years of efforts and dedications to make love successful.

Another fact is that, teenage love is generally conditional. While doing love in teenage year you may say, if he/she will be like that then only I will love him/her or if he/she posses that thing then only I will love him/her and if not then I will dump him/her. But have you ever seen unconditional love of adult people? Despite of frequent misunderstanding and dispute they(adult lover) manage to stay together. As they love each other unconditionally and even in condition of dispute and quarrel, they manages peaceful discussion, realizes each other’s fault, solve that matter and give excuses to each other as far as possible. But, when such quarrel occurs in teenage love then they generally do breakup and hold a feeling of revenge and hatred against each other.

Remember that teenage period is the time to grow, learn new skill and to make yourself ready to cope the problems of future and to be successful. This is the most efficient time to learn and become better as you don’t have to worry about basic needs because your parents are there to fulfill all your basic needs. But later, you yourself have to fulfill most of your basic needs and you don’t get enough time to improve your skill and qualification. So, give your most priority to enhancement of skill, career and future than love during your this age.

One very true but bitter fact that occurs in our society is marriage by eloping. Many teenage lovers think that marriage is the only way to institutionalize their love. In the beginning days, after their marriage such couples might have a good life due to sexual attraction and money. But later when poverty, starvation and unemployment hits that family then their marital life starts to ruin because they lacks experience, skill and knowledge to cope such problems. In such conditions most of the troubles have to be faced by girl due to prevalence of male dominant society. In such family birth of a child just adds additional problems, especially to that girl. Such girls are not generally accepted by boy’s family and generally they becomes victim of torture by family members boy’s side. In such condition if the love and marriage was between inter-caste couple then the problem will only becomes more severe, as our society is still traditional and cultural minded.

By showing these facts I am not trying to advocate against teenage love. But I am just trying to make you aware about risk involved while doing love in teenage year. Time has changed a lot. So, it’s not possible and also not good to forbade one to do love during teenage year against his/her will. But, one shouldn’t make it too much serious; otherwise he/she has to face various problems in future.

Acknowledge this, “Don’t ever let your love to fly in the sky without any support on the ground, because when it falls down on that bare ground then it hurts a lot and that pain may not allow you to stand up again.”

So at this time give your major time and priority to your career and future than love. And use your love to motivate and improve each other not to degrade each other and not to waste each other’s time.

photo credit: ARACELOTA via photopin cc