Chapter: 16 Depression

Depressed lady

Depression is the state of low and aversion that can have a negative effect on person’s thoughts, feeling, world’s view and physical well being. Depression has no age limit and can occur to all age group. But in this chapter I am going to discuss about teenage depression.

Some symptoms of teen depression are:
i. Sadness or hopelessness.
ii. Decrease in self esteem.
iii. Being less inactive.
iv. Feeling worthless and thinking no-one cares.
v. Spending more time alone.
vi. Decrease in desire to do the things that were used to be fun once.
vii. Sleeping problems, imbalance in appetite and headache.
viii. Paying no attention in class, degradation in grades and staying away from school.
ix. Wanting to run away from home.
x. One may feel like crying, dejected and cannot concentrate on things.
xi. Feeling irritated, unloved and anxious.
xii. One may feel that s/he is the unlucky person in the world.
xiii. One Wants to suicide or hurt him/herself.
xiv. Involvement in abusive substances.

These are some symptoms of depression. But some symptoms are normal during teenage period due to hormonal change, change in thinking style and du to increase in stress. In teenage period it is normal that you may feel sad one day, happy another day, lonely other day and so on. But also try to find out the root cause of such sadness, loneliness, unhappiness etc in time and try to solve the root cause before it takes the form of depression. Whereas, symptoms like wanting to attempt suicide or to hurt oneself shouldn’t be taken lightly.

But if these kinds of above mentioned symptoms occur on you for more than two weeks then you should try to get special treatment or counseling.

Some major causes of depression are mentioned below:

i. Bullying or harassment at school or somewhere else

Bullying is the process in which stronger or powerful one tries to hurt weaker one. And harassment means to hurt people or make them feel unpleasant. The best way to prevent bullying and harassment is to maintain distance from those people who gets involved in such activity. If it doesn’t work then take the help of teacher or helpful adults as far as you can. Otherwise ignore such people. Let’s see an example of it: During the time Gautam Buddha, one man became very jealous about the name and fame of Buddha. So, he went to meet Buddha, at that time Buddha was meditating. So, he scolded, yelled and used worse word at Buddha. After sometime Buddha opened his eyes but that man was surprised to see calm and peaceful behaviour of Buddha. So, he said,” Although I scolded and shouted at you, why are you so peaceful and calm? And Buddha replied “If someone wants to give you a gift but if you ignore that gift, who will be the owner of that gift? That gift will certainly be of the same person who wants to give it to you, won’t it be? So, I also just ignored your entire gift.” Hearing this that man started to feel regret and asked for forgiveness with Buddha.

So, sometimes ignoring other can be great way to avoid other to harm you.

ii. Child abuse:Physical or Sexual

Child abuse can leaves the long-term marks in the growing brain of teenager. It may cause one to feel anxious, irritated and hopeless.

To face this kind of situation one shouldn’t feel guilt due to abuse especially sexual abuse. Best thing you can do to solve it is take the help of trustful and responsible adult and expert.

iii. Unsuccessful relationship and family problem

Family problem can also cause depression which includes divorce or separation of parents, being or feeling uncared or unloved by parents and death of parents. Sometimes breakup from one’s boyfriend, girlfriend or best friend can also cause depression.

If you are the one facing this kind of problem then you can request your parents or friends to stop doing the things that is hurting you. If it doesn’t work then accept that condition. You can’t make someone to love you or others. So, just forget about such relation if you can’t do anything about it, but don’t hold the feeling of hatred or revenge over them. These kinds of feeling won’t let you forget them and move forward. But if one deserves a legal punishment then go for it.

“Hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored and destroy the object on which it is poured”
-Ann Landers

To improve the situation, you can start to be with those who loves, cares and respects you. Don’t worry to leave who don’t matter, remember this world is like a ocean and if you are unable to get one fish, then you can try to have another.

iv. High ambition

It is true that we should set high ambition but we shouldn’t underestimate about the dedication that is required to fulfill that ambition. Generally at this teenage period, one wants to become everything. Whenever one sees singer, dancer, movie stars, politician and athletes either in real or T.V then he/she wants to be same like them. If you are one of them, then this is because you may not have any aim which truly matches your desire and feeling. And because when you see such people you can only see their success, fame and achievement but you don’t see their sacrifice, dedication, weakness and hard work and you only desire to be famous. When these kinds of dream, where you have underestimated the dedication, don’t get fulfilled then you will end up being depressed.

What you should remember is that there is thousands of ways to contribute to this world and get famous. Just choose a specific field which you truly desire, which makes you happy and which you are passionate about. Then try to get expert on that specific field. But don’t think that perfection and faultlessness as the things which can be achieved, just take it as a direction to move forward and become better. While moving forward, don’t get afraid and depressed of various limitation and obstacles.

“Everyone faces challenges in life. And what matters the most is how you learn to overcome them and use them to your advantage”

v. Being unsatisfied with oneself.

In this world no-one is perfect. Many don’t realize this fact and get unsatisfied with oneself. Generally teenagers are unsatisfied because they want to have all round development and perfection. They may be unsatisfied with their study, economy, appearance, family relation and so on, because they compare themselves with others. And what other generally do is, they try to hide their problems and weakness, which makes them to appear faultless and perfect. So, don’t compare yourself with others.

If you are one of them who is unsatisfied with oneself then look around the world there are vast number of things and all are important on their own place. Can you compare farmer and shopkeeper? No. They are completely different to each other but also they are contributing. And each of their contribution is very important to run this world in a balanced way. Similarly in your room there may be various things like chair, bed, table etc. Each of them are different and can’t be compared on any basis with each other.

It is the human nature to see other luckier and oneself unluckier. Realize this fact and don’t compare yourself with others.

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in this entire world can do better job of being you than you”

In life don’t worry about what you don’t have, be thankful for what you have. If you think more about what you don’t have then you will forget about what you do have.

You are precious, wonderful and unique as way you are. God has brought you in this world with a hope that someday you will be able to change the world not to change yourself. Don’t try to be others but be the original version of yourself.

Utilize whatever you have, to bring positive change in other’s life. This will certainly gives you immense happiness.

vi. Loneliness

Many people feel lonely due to lack of friends or family members. But during teenage period one generally feels lonely due to lack of lover or opposite sex, who they like. It is normal and happens to most. At teenage year your sexual organs starts to mature, different hormones are released and your brain starts to think differently. So, you get attracted to opposite sex.

Spending time with family

Stressing too much about this kind of feeling is not the good idea. You can reduce such loneliness by enhancing your relation with parents, good friends and by not living alone too much. Make yourself busy in the hobby or other creative work which you like the most. Just appreciate for what you have and try to enjoy with whatever you have.

Major consequences of depression.

Study has found that girls are twice more likely to get depression than boys. But boys who get depression are twice more likely to suicide or get involved in abusive substances than girls.

Two major consequences of depression are:-

i. Use of abusive substances

Many teenagers even adult get involved on drugs, alcohol and smoking due to depression. You should be clear that use of abusive substances won’t solve your any problems. Depression is the one problem you already have and use of such substances will only add another problem. Although you may feel high and pleasured due to its use but after its affects wears off, you again have to face the same problem.

If you become unsuccessful then don’t degrade yourself more by taking such abusive substances. But try to improve yourself and move more upward by facing and solving the root cause of the problem which made you unsuccessful.

ii. Suicide or self mutilation

If you are depressed then you may feel hopeless, sad and worthless. Sometimes situation may get too much worse and in such case thoughts of suicide or self mutilation may pop into your mind. And if you don’t solve the depression in time then your thought can happen in your real life.

One thing you should remember is that hurting yourself or doing suicide won’t solve your problem. But instead it will only affect you and people around you. You won’t be even remembered for that much long.

Before hurting yourself realize that how many plants and animals have sacrificed to feed you and to make your life comfortable. Realize how much your parents and your relatives have sacrificed their needs to fulfill your needs and to grow you up. All of them have hoped you to be better person or at least live your life fully. Is it fair to break their hope like a glass and tell me is it fair to make their sacrifice worthless, is it?

Don’t always expect others to help you. Many times in life you yourself have to help yourself. God will only helps to those who helps themselves.

Even though if everyone around you don’t believe in you. But, Mother Nature is always hoping for your contribution, that’s why she brought you in this world and that’s why you are living every bit of seconds till now. She has given everyone unique feature and unique purpose, and you should identify that purpose and try to fulfill it by utilizing whatever you have been given.

Even though, how hard you fall on the ground there are always ways to recover and grow again. For, example if your house is in fire then instead of jumping in that fire and killing yourself, you should try to throw as much water as you can to save your house from burning more. And try to build more better house than previous house from what you left after that fire. Moreover you can even work to prevent the other’s house from fire.

Remember, if you try then only you can win. If you don’t try then you will never win.
Don’t waste your precious life
Gold can’t but only coal can change itself into diamond after facing extreme pressure and pain.

So, realize your value, potential and don’t allow the pain to destroy you but use it as a fuel to motivate you to become better.

Ways to handle and solve the stress.

It is always best to solve the problem in time than to be victim of that problem later.
The very best way to treat depression (stress that last for more than 2 weeks) is to visit the expert or psychologists.

Some simple ways by which you can manage and solve your stress are:
i. Sharing the feeling, your problems and condition to someone whom you trust (especially who can encourage you) can help you reduce burden of problem, inner pain and sadness.
ii. Another thing you can do is write down all your problem, limitation and cause of disappointments on the piece of paper. Then dispose that paper in dustbin, fire or river. And think that your entire problem has gone away with that piece of paper you disposed. And try to be relaxed and hopeful for something good.
iii. Reading inspiring books, biography and self help books can help you a lot to feel better. In today’s society one of the major causes of teen depression is prevalence of media. That’s why people in the past weren’t too much depressed like today but also you can ask the good adult person about how was their teenage life.

These above mentioned way only help you to solve your problem externally. Some major ways to solve problem from its root are:

i. For this try to write the cause of depression on a piece of paper. Just write down whatever thoughts comes into your mind until you finally find true and deeper root cause of depression. Next thing you have to do is try to find out the best solution to the problem. You can even take the help of adult to find and accomplish your solution. One thing you have to understand is that solution of some problem requires a right time and right condition to get accomplished. In such cases don’t lose hope nor get sad. Just try to change your mentality and thinking attitude to make yourself wait for right time and right condition. There is a saying,

“You can’t find the leather to cover whole earth but you can find leather to cover your foot.”

ii. Next thing you can do is give yourself the autosuggestion and face the situation of which you are afraid of, at least within your mind. For example autosuggest yourself by saying,” I am becoming better and better. I am being able to solve..(name of problem).. I don’t fear doing ..(name of thing that you fear to do)… and so on.” Just think positively with clear mental image and think in a way that you have already achieved it. Repeat this type of autosuggestion as much as you can. Here I will like to show you how autosuggestion works. When you imagine about sweet dish, saliva will automatically comes into your mouth and when you think about sex you will automatically get sexually aroused. This is because our sub-conscious mind cannot differentiate between real and imaginary things. So, when you autosuggest yourself of being something even though you haven’t become in real life. Then your sub-conscious mind thinks it as a real and reinforces that thing to happen in real life. Next thing which you can do is face the problem mentally. Just imagine how you solved the problem that you fear of, imagine how you won over that problem and imagine what kind of positive change has been brought into your life after winning over the problem.

“Athletes visualize 1000s of times before they step on the track. They’ve already won. Other people just don’t know it yet”

iii. List out the things or good quality that you have. And think how can you utilize these things and use them for your advantage. Think how you can fulfill the needs of those things which you don’t have by utilizing the things which you have. Repeat this many times. And at last don’t only limit those thought inside your mind but work hard to make it happen in real life.

Try to acknowledge the fact I have mentioned in this chapter and improve your life.
Life is a choice. So, always make right and positive choice.

Don’t let your problems to limit you but work harder to limit your problems and finally reduce such problems.

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