Chapter: 15 Sexual Abuse and Bullying

Abused girl

Sexual abuse also known as molestation, is the forcing of undesired sexual behaviour by one person upon another. The offender is referred to as a sexual abuser or molester

Sexual abuse can happen to both male and female. Sexual abuse is the harsh process done by stronger one to weaker one in which the abuser can also be family members like father, uncles or cousin, relatives, neighbours, friends and stranger.

In addition to direct sexual contact, child sexual abuse also occurs when an adult engages in indecent exposer (of the genitals, female nipples) to a child with a intent to gratify their own sexual desires or to intimidate or groom the child, asks or pressures a child to engage in sexual activities, displays pornography to a child or uses a child to produce child pornography.

Effects of child sexual abuse may include self guilt and self blame, nightmares, fear of things, depression, suicidal ideation, mental illness and flashbacks.

One can go against the abuser legally. So, if you are a victim then go against the abuser legally as far as you can. Your this step can motivate other victims to go against the abuser and can also discourage such devil minded abuser to repeat their animal like behaviour.

If you are a victim of sexual abuse then don’t feel bad about yourself, it’s not your fault. It’s the fault of that abuser and you should make him/her to pay for his/her deed legally as far as you can.

Remember sexual abuse can happen to anyone and it is not good to face that problem by hurting or killing yourself. Just believe that God has chosen you to face that situation because you are stronger and extraordinary than other. Don’t make yourself weaker by hurting yourself.

Remember, “Special things happens to special people.”

Use your problem to make yourself stronger and be the source of motivation to other who have faced the same situation and moreover try to prevent other from facing that situation.

Problem are there to make us stronger not to destroy us

Ignore the naysayer, because people who can’t do themselves says you can’t do.

Ignore the people who negatively criticize you because they are internally jealous of your bravery and courage that allowed you to face the problem.

Ignore the people who tries to lower your confidence and dignity because they want you to become ordinary like them, as they can’t withstand the fact, that you have become extraordinary.

Remember, “ A successful man is one who lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him”
-David Brinkley

If you are having very difficult to live a normal life after sexual abuse then take the help from rehabilitation center, counsellor, psychologist or institution working for child welfare for solution and help.

Remember that there is always solution to every problem. And there is always better way to do everything.


Bullying is a form of aggressive behaviour, which may manifest as abusive treatment, the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when habitual and involving an imbalance of power.

Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse i.e. emotional, verbal and physical. It generally involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. Bullying can manifest in relationship, household, school, friends, workplace and so on. Teasing and giving someone extreme negative criticism so that it hurts that person is also a type of bullying.

Below I have mentioned some ways to face bullying:

i. Bullying generally happens to that person who is living in fear, guilt, grief or shame. If you are the one who is living with such things, then remove them from your mind and body. If you lack something which other posses then admit that fact. And if you can improve your present condition then improve it otherwise let it go. Live fearlessly and be mentally stronger because there is no point of being sad, depressed and tensed. Being sad and depressed will only makes situation more and more worse. So that, try to face the problem, win over it and try to reduce its influence from you.

“Life is a choice. You can choose to be victim or anything else you like to be”

ii. Remember, even great people are not perfect in this world. Everyone has their own set of imperfection. And everyone has their own set of special and unique quality. Find out your quality and potentiality and utilize that quality properly. For example, if you have a hole in your garden which should be filled by mud. But if you only posses sand then it will be far better to fill that hole with sand than letting it unfilled and being sad over it. So, try to utilize what you have and use it to fulfill what you don’t have.

iii. Avoid the bullies from being around you as far as you can. Everyone in this world deserves better if they do better things. So, don’t fear to dump and ignore those people who try to hurt your feelings. Protect your feeling and dream with the strong shield of confidence, courage, dignity and self worth. Don’t let anyone to break you and your dream.

Now, let’s talk about cyber bullying. Nowadays use of social networking site is increasing all over the world and even in the country like ours. Due to various mistake of people, cyber bullying and cyber crime is increasing day by day. I am going to show you a true story relating to cyber bullying:

Amanda Todd is a Canadian teenage girl who had suicide by hanging herself in 2012 A.D at the age of 16 due to cyber bullying. Let’s see how this happened, according to the video which Todd had posted in You-tube before few days of her suicide, that when she was in grade 7 she used to do video-chat to meet new people over the Internet and she used to receive compliments on her looks. One day a stranger convinced Todd to bare her breasts on camera. The individual later blackmailed her with the threats to expose the topless photo to her friends unless she gave a “show”. In her video she told that later she began to use drugs and alcohol.
Even though she had changed her school, after three years the individual reappeared creating a Facebook profile, using that topless image as the profile image. That individual contacted with her classmates and teachers at her new school and unveiled many things related to Todd. Again Todd was teased by friends even after changing school. She told that she was even physically attacked and insulted by her classmates and friends. She tried to kill herself by drinking bleach but was unsuccessful. She began to engage in self mutilation and she even overdosed anti-depressant and was hospitalized for two days. At last due to extreme disappointment and failure of all attempt to kill herself, she hanged herself at her home.

If you want to know more about her and her video then do a Google search writing her name. If you can then, also try to find more about cyber bullying.

So, if you are parent then aware your children about this. If you are someone else’s elder brother or sister then make your younger one aware about this before it becomes too late.

Always remember,” Prevention is better than cure.”